We asked Dave Cottrell, Lead Trainer from Change Talks to share his thoughts and reflections on men’s mental health this men’s health week and discussed why there is a disproportion when discussing mental health and accessing help and services.
Statics from various sources including NHS England and Mind show that three out of four suicides in the UK are men, one in eight men have a common mental health problem such as depression or anxiety, over 40% of men admit to regularly feeling worried, stressed or low, men are more likely to have alcohol or drug dependency problems and are less likely to seek help for mental health issues.
What sets men’s mental health apart?
It’s no secret that anyone can struggle with their mental health, so you might assume the challenges are the same for everyone, regardless of gender. That’s only partly true. While internal factors like genetics affect all of us, external influences, such as societal pressure, stress, and identity often affect men in distinct ways. Since we can’t rewrite DNA in a blog post, let’s focus on those external factors, particularly where they impact men more than women.
Sense of identity
This may be the most dramatically shifting area for men. Ask 10 different men what it means to ‘be a man’ and you'll get 10 very different answers. Most of this debate plays out online, and like many internet debates, it's dominated by two polarised extremes.
On one side you have the thought that men should toughen up and assert dominance and on the other, there are voices calling for total vulnerability, telling men to be softer, more compassionate but sometimes delivering that message in a way that shames traditional masculine traits.
Caught between these extremes, many young men are left confused. Craving identity and belonging, they become vulnerable to radicalisation or latch onto conflicting ideals that leave them feeling lost. In trying to please both camps, they end up with no clear sense of self.
That lack of identity often leads to declining mental health. Without a solid grasp of who we are, it’s difficult to define our values or feel a sense of purpose. And when you don’t know what you stand for, it becomes harder to feel grounded and mentally strong.
Societal norms and pressures
It’s well known that, overall, men open up less than women. Although this is improving, the pressure to remain stoic and ‘just get on with it’ is still deeply rooted. While male support groups are becoming more common, cultural change takes time and stigma still lingers.
Worse, as these support networks grow, so does criticism. That leaves many men wondering, ‘If I reach out, does that make me weak?’ For someone already struggling with identity, this question can be paralysing.
According to a recent IPSOS poll, 51% of young men believe that gender equality has tipped too far, with men now facing more discrimination. Whether or not this belief is accurate is almost irrelevant because belief shapes experience. If many young men genuinely feel the world is stacked against them, their mental health will inevitably suffer.
Stresses men face
In terms of day-to-day stress, the gap between genders is narrowing but some pressures still weigh more heavily on men.
Statistically, men still dominate high risk jobs such as construction, military service, and law enforcement which are all roles that come with heightened stress. The traditional ‘provider’ role, while slowly fading, still looms large especially for older generations. This adds to the pressure many men already feel about career, money, and responsibility.
Another growing issue is body image. Once considered a mostly female concern, more men now report stress overweight, height, hair loss, and physical performance.
What can we do about it?
This isn’t a complete list, but it does shed light on some of the unique challenges men face. So where do we begin? In my view, everything starts with rebuilding a healthy sense of self.
We must teach boys and men that there's no single way to ‘be a man’. We should welcome newer values like emotional warmth, compassion, and vulnerability, without vilifying traditional strengths like resilience, stoicism, and competitiveness.
Over 2,000 years ago, Aristotle introduced the concept of ‘the mean’ the idea that virtues lie in balance. Take anger for example, when excessive or misdirected, it becomes a vice, but when channelled appropriately, it can be a force for justice. The same goes for masculine traits:
- Strength is admirable when used to protect, not control.
- Stoicism helps in crisis but should never block connection or healing.
- Competitiveness can fuel excellence, but not if it breeds cruelty or insecurity.
Ultimately, improving men’s mental health isn’t about choosing between tradition and progress, it’s about integration. We need to create space for men to explore who they are without shame, rigid expectations, or fear of judgment. That means encouraging emotional expression without discarding resilience and promoting vulnerability without mocking strength.
If we can help young men understand that masculinity isn’t a fixed mould, but a set of values they can define for themselves, we give them the freedom to become grounded, healthy, and whole. And with that foundation, better mental health and a more connected, purposeful life can truly begin.
Accessing mental health support
If you need urgent help for your mental health, call NHS 111 and select option 2 for mental health.
Mental health support can also be accessed from Lancashire and South Cumbria Talking Therapies. Talking Therapies is a psychological therapy service offering a range of free talking therapies to people aged 16 and over in Lancashire and 18 and over in South Cumbria.
The Talking Therapies Team is made up of psychological wellbeing practitioners (PWP), cognitive behavioural therapists (CBT), counsellors, employment advisors, team leaders, and our supportive admin staff.
You can self-refer or you may be referred via your GP.
