Did you know that in the UK one in every 14 people has South Asian Heritage? One of those is our Deputy Chief Nurse, Rebekah Roshan who is sharing her story as a leader smashing through glass ceilings with a message of empowerment for everyone. She’s not only a Deputy Chief Nurse, but she’s also a daughter, sister and a world champion.
Rebekah says:
“It feels timely, South Asian Heritage Month this year has a theme of ‘Roots to Routes’ and it really resonates with me. I feel incredibly privileged to be Deputy Chief Nurse and proud to have launched the heritage month at the Trust this year.
I feel really passionate about encouraging others of any South Asian heritage to push yourself out of your comfort zone and into spaces that traditionally may not have been spaces where you felt you could, or should have been in, both in a professional and personal capacity.
People often say they don’t know where I’m from or what my background is. My mum is White British, and my dad was from Pakistan.
I used to love sitting and listening to my Dad tell stories of his journey from Pakistan to England by road, his first job building the M6 motorway and how he’d used the five pound he had left when he arrived, to put a deposit down on a bedsit and make himself a vegetable curry to last the week until his first pay day.
His plan was to stay here for five years and make enough money to take home for a better life for himself and his family. That time kept being extended and eventually he met my mum running a clothing stall at Barrow market. My mum became his third wife, they had my brother Adam and me, I’m the youngest of my dad’s seven children, and the rest as they say is history."
Rebekah continues:
“My dad often referred to himself as being ‘self-made’ and he undoubtedly worked incredibly hard doing long hours, working two or three jobs in pursuit of a better life and in order to provide for his family, with an absolute drive for success.
When I was younger, I looked at my dad with admiration and pride for how hard he’d worked and the struggles he’d overcome. It really saddens me to say that my pride was tainted with embarrassment and shame at times of my Asian heritage, because of my experiences growing up as someone who was different from others.
Being from a mixed ethnic background, I struggled with a feeling of constantly trying to navigate through life to find out where I fit and belonged. Throughout school I was subject to racism. I was often excluded and bullied. I observed the same thing happening to my older brother - worse in some ways. I often wondered if this was because he has darker skin than me. My home life outside of my immediate family was equally challenging. My dad never taught us to speak Urdu, and so extended family often spoke a different language and talked negatively about my mum the “Gori” which referred to a white woman.”
Rebekah recalls:
“I have vivid memories of my aunties referring to me as a ‘bad Muslim’ because as a child my parents allowed me to wear shorts and a T-shirt in hot weather, it often played on my mind. I recall my cousins questioning if I was adopted because I looked ‘different,’ I again felt excluded. I had high hopes when I went to a college in an area which was incredibly diverse and multicultural. Sadly, it didn’t live up to my expectations, and again I found myself excluded within the Asian community because I didn’t speak the language and people were again unsure where I was from.
The push and pull between my two backgrounds continued within my early career in the NHS. I remember one of my mentors and role models told me: ‘people like us’ would only progress so far within the NHS as ‘coloured people, especially women’ were not promoted into senior roles. She continued to say I ‘may be ok, because I wasn’t too dark skinned’. She explained that it wasn’t so obvious I was Asian. This reinforced my view that the part of me associated with my Asian heritage was best kept hidden.
I’ve witnessed racism within the NHS and have experienced feelings of inequity, due to unfair recruitment processes and not being appointed to a role I had covered on an interim basis for over a year. I’ve watched others within my peer group being given development opportunities and encouraged to apply for promotions, with no offer of the same for me. These experiences left me questioning my value and whether I was disadvantaged due to being different.
Despite this, and I think largely due to that work ethic and drive instilled in me from my dad, I was able to progress within my career at quite a pace. I moved up from ward manager to different matron and operational management roles. I then secured more senior roles of consultant nurse and head of nursing. Then with other roles in between, I joined the Trust as a network Director of Nursing, and I’m now really proud to hold the amazing position of Deputy Chief Nurse. While I recognise my success has been due to my own skills, knowledge and abilities as a nurse and a leader, I had a real drive to break through the ceiling I was told existed. I have also been fortunate to have had leaders who believed in me, and showed an interest in me, supporting me to develop, giving me opportunities to shine and by acting as mentors and allies. I call these people ‘my diamonds’. I can’t stress enough the importance of being an ally to others, and how valued this is."
But things haven’t been easy, as Rebekah explains:
“Following a very difficult time personally with five bereavements over a two-year period including the loss of my dad in 2018, after an eight-year battle with dementia, I hit a low point in my life. I needed to spend time rebuilding myself, this included the decision to recover from my eating disorder which has been my crutch through life for 25 years, probably as a result of some of the experiences I have touched on.
I disclosed earlier about my embarrassment and inability to accept my Asian heritage. Being truthful, and it breaks my heart to admit it, but it took my dad’s death and that journey of recovery for me to really start to explore who I am and to re-connect with my heritage and feel proud of this part of my identity.”
Being so open and honest about challenges growing up, Rebekah continues:
“During that journey I found a love for body building, and the discipline and routine that comes with this lifestyle. This motivated me to set new goals and to push myself out of my comfort zone, again into spaces that the stereotypical view of South Asian women would say we cannot or should not step into.
I became focused on being the strongest and healthiest version of myself, both physically and mentally. With the sense of pride I felt towards what I’d achieved, I decided to compete in a fitness model show as a celebration of my recovery and the journey I’ve been on.
My first competition was in 2023, and I’ve just concluded a successful competing season, with six shows in the past eight months. I achieved two UK Championship and a World Championship title, along with eight other first placings.”
She summarises:
"I have chosen to share my story in the hope of helping others to see that it absolutely is possible to overcome challenges and to not only step into, but to succeed in spaces you didn’t think you could or should step into.
This message is for everyone but especially to my South Asian colleagues and people in those communities. Whilst I haven’t shared the unique traditions of my Pakistani heritage, I wanted to raise awareness of how different cultural identities can impact on our lives and to really focus on the importance of embracing and celebrating your identity to achieve that sense of belonging.
You will never find where you fit if you don’t accept your whole self and love what makes you unique.”
