In this blog, Naomi O’Grady, Team Leader at Change Talks reflects on the emotions surrounding exam results day, drawing on her own experience of waiting for GCSE results and sharing practical advice for parents supporting their children through this stressful time. She explores the pressures young people face, the importance of empathy and perspective, and how celebrating effort over outcomes can help build resilience. With guidance on managing anxiety, avoiding comparisons, and focusing on the bigger picture, Naomi reminds us that exam results are just one milestone in a lifelong journey of learning and growth.
I can’t stop pacing around my room, my heart is pounding like it’s trying to escape my chest. It’s the night before results day, and I feel like I’m stuck in some kind of anxious limbo. Every “what if” is running through my head, what if I didn’t do enough? And what if I let everyone down? My stomach is in knots, and sleeping feels like an impossible task. Part of me wants time to speed up just to get it over with, and the other part wants to freeze it so I don’t have to face whatever tomorrow brings.
Does this sound familiar? I think it’s a feeling we can all relate to, I certainly can as this is exactly how I felt back in August 2011 the night before I received my GCSE results. Exam results day can be a highly emotional and stressful time not only for children but also for their parents. The anticipation and uncertainty surrounding results can trigger anxiety, self-doubt, and a host of difficult emotions. As parents, it’s natural to want the best for your child, but it’s equally important to remember that how you respond to this moment can significantly impact your child's emotional well-being, self-esteem, and ability to cope with both success and disappointment.
In today’s academic environment, children often feel intense pressure to perform. This may come from school expectations, comparisons with peers, or personal goals. Some may fear disappointing their parents or believe that their future depends entirely on their exam performance. These thoughts can lead to anxiety, sleepless nights, and even physical symptoms such as headaches or nausea.
It’s important to remember that for many young people, exams are the first major life event where they are measured and judged in a formal way. Results day can feel like a judgment of their worth, not just their academic ability. This can be overwhelming, especially for those who struggle with perfectionism, low confidence, or mental health challenges.
As a parent your attitude and response can either ease or add to your child's stress. It’s essential to approach results day with empathy, patience, and perspective. You can help by staying calm and supportive, your child may already be feeling anxious, so keeping a calm, non-judgmental presence can be deeply reassuring. Remember to make time to talk with your child before and after results are released. Allow them to express how they feel without immediately jumping in with advice or judgment.
Although it can sometimes be a challenge it is important to avoid comparisons. Every child is unique, with different strengths and paths. Comparing them to siblings or classmates can erode their self-confidence and cause unnecessary stress for everyone. Remind your child (and yourself) that exam results are a snapshot of one moment in time. They do not define a person’s intelligence, worth, or future potential.
Also remember to take some time to celebrate effort over outcome. Acknowledge the hard work, persistence, endless revision notes and most importantly the resilience your child has shown throughout the year, regardless of the results. What they have already achieved is amazing and it is definitely a reason to celebrate.
As results day approaches it is important to put the groundwork in to help your child develop healthy coping strategies before and after results day. Prepare them mentally for the day, talk through possible outcomes in advance. This can help children face results with a more balanced mindset and reduce fear of the unknown. If at this stage your child is catastrophising encourage them to challenge negative thoughts such as “I’m a failure” and replace them with more balanced ones like “I did my best, and this is one step on my journey.” Also encourage your child to embrace healthy distraction techniques to get their mind of things, suggest going for a walk, doing something fun, or spending time with friends and family to ease tension.
When results day does come recommend to your child to practice deep breathing exercises, mindfulness and grounding techniques to ease anxiety on the day. And remember if on the day the results aren’t what they hoped for, help them explore other options. Universities, apprenticeships, resits, or alternative careers may all still be within reach.
Now, supporting your child is one thing but you also need to look after yourself at this time too. Check-in with other parents and share your feelings with others in the same position, talking about how you are feeling can be helpful and reassuring. Remember also to be honest with yourself about your hopes and fears, recognize if your own stress is affecting your child. Children learn how to handle stress by watching the adults around them. Showing calm and resilience, even in disappointment, teaches them how to navigate setbacks in life. Most importantly focus on the bigger picture, success comes in many forms. Your child’s character, values, health and happiness matter far more than any result.
Results day is not the end of the road, it’s one of many milestones along a lifelong journey of learning and growth. Whether your child achieves their desired grades or not, what matters most is that they feel loved, supported, and encouraged to move forward with confidence.
By fostering open communication, empathy, and emotional resilience, you can help your child not only survive results day but thrive in its aftermath, knowing that their worth is never defined by a single exam.
