Exam season can be an incredibly stressful time for children and young people. Mary Hewitt, Educator from Change Talks shares her own experiences and offers advice for parents and carers trying to navigate this tricky and sometimes worrying time.
I’m 29, and I still vividly remember those long evenings hunched over revision notes - and that nerve-wracking moment of lining up outside the exam hall, clutching my pens and water bottle, heart pounding.
It’s a lot - pressure, expectations, and fear of the unknown all wrapped up into one. And while it might be your child sitting the exams, it can feel like a test for parents too.
As a parent and carer, it’s completely normal to feel a little helpless during this time - especially if, like me, your first instinct for tricky homework questions is to quickly turn to Google. You might not know how to structure an English essay or solve quadratic equations anymore (or ever did!) and that’s okay. Because your most important role right now isn’t academic, it’s emotional.
Even if you’re not sure what a fronted adverbial is these days, you can still play a powerful role in supporting your child’s mental wellbeing, building their confidence, and helping them stay grounded. Sometimes, a calm presence, a reassuring word, or a cup of tea at the right moment is more valuable than any revision guide.
Here’s how you can be a steady, supportive anchor as your child navigates this intense (but temporary) season.
Create a calm, supportive environment
- Stick to a routine
Young people thrive on structure - it creates a sense of safety when everything else feels uncertain. Keep mealtimes, bedtimes, and downtime consistent to provide comfort and predictability. - Minimise pressure
Now isn’t the time for perfection. Remind them that effort counts more than results. Phrases like “Just do your best - that’s all we ask” help ease the pressure and show you value their wellbeing. - Avoid comparisons
Each child has a unique learning style and pace. Comparing them to others, even with good intentions, can create unnecessary stress. Focus instead on their individual progress and strengths.
Help with revision (without taking over)
- Plan a revision timetable together
Collaborate on a simple, realistic plan that breaks revision into short, focused sessions with regular breaks. This helps reduce overwhelm and improves productivity. - Encourage active revision
Make it engaging use flashcards, online quizzes, or even ask your child to teach you something they’ve learned - this is a great way for them to reinforce knowledge. - Ask, don’t interrogate
Swap stressful check-ins like “Have you revised enough?” for “What topic did you look at today?” - it keeps the tone open and supportive rather than pressured.
Support their mental health
- Talk and listen
Sometimes, the best support is simply being there. Let them share how they feel without jumping in to fix things. Saying “It’s totally normal to feel nervous” can be really comforting. - Look for signs of stress
Watch for changes in mood, sleep, appetite, or behaviour. These could be signs that your child is feeling overwhelmed and needs some extra TLC or downtime. - Keep it all in perspective
Remind them that while exams matter, they don’t define who they are. Their value isn’t based on grades - and this season, too, shall pass.
Encourage healthy habits
- Prioritise rest
Good sleep equals better memory, focus, and mood. Help your child wind down with a screen-free routine before bed. - Fuel their body and brain
Nutritious meals and snacks, plus plenty of water, will help boost concentration and energy levels. - Keep moving
Even a quick walk or stretch can work wonders for reducing stress and lifting their mood.
Celebrate effort, not just results
- Acknowledge their hard work
Let them know you see the effort they’re putting in, not just the outcome. Try “I’m proud of how focused you’ve been lately - I can see how hard you’re trying.” - Plan something to look forward to
Once exams are done, reward them with something fun - a trip, their favourite meal, or even a chilled movie night. These positive moments help balance the stress.
Exam season can feel overwhelming, not just for children and young people, but for parents too. It’s natural to worry about whether you’re doing enough, saying the right things, or striking the balance between motivating and supporting. But the truth is, your calm presence, encouragement, and steady support can make a far bigger difference than you might realise.
You don’t need to have all the answers and you’re not expected to turn into a subject expert overnight. Sometimes, the most powerful things you can offer are the simples, a quiet word of reassurance, a favourite snack during a revision break, or just sitting with them while they take a breather.
These small moments of connection help your child feel safe, valued, and understood especially in the face of exam stress and self-doubt. The results will come and go, but the love and support you show during this time? That’s what stays with them.
So, take a breath. Keep showing up. Remind them (and yourself) that this season is temporary - and you’ve got this. And so do they.
