Patient Stories and Resources

Perinatal Positivity

Amy's Story

A poem by Amanda

I dreamed about you often, imagined how I’d feel
A sense of ecstasy, pure joy, a feeling so unreal
I craved your existence, the family we could make
It was going to be magical, the journey we would take.

Naively, I had it planned it all, I never once did fear
I’d seen the smiles on other mums, the laughter I would hear
Nobody could sway me, or make me doubt me strength
I believed you were my destiny, I’d go to any length.

Your arrival, quite traumatic, couldn’t push away the thought
My heart now should be bursting, so why am I distraught
My days were spent just crying, tired but I couldn’t sleep
My mind it did not feel my own, the worries on they’d creep.

I watched the other mums, they seemed just like before
Why on earth could I not be like them, why was I still raw?
Comparisons took over, resentment setting in,
So angry at the way I’d feel, I couldn’t seem to win
I’d feel powerless and nervous, the role not working out
Just getting through the next day, another day of doubt.

But see, I love my baby, I love her like no other,
Just sadly for a little while, I was robbed of being a mother
My brain could not allow it, the illness it is real
It hurts a lot to look back and remember how I’d feel

Yet I should not feel guilty, this path has paved the way,
For now we have the strongest bond that I can truly say
You were sent to teach me, my heart is now full
Those thoughts, though never far away, they’re dwindling,
They’re dull.

So mums forget the pressures, comparisons, the norm
Your journey’s a unique one from the day your babies born
It sure as hell ain’t easy, there’s mountains there to climb
Just climb them at your own pace, one step at a time.

Amanda Davidson

Useful Websites

Other sources of help and information include:

• Action on Post-Partum Psychosis
• NHS Choices - Postnatal Depression 
• The Baby Buddy App
• The Samaritans
• Royal College of Psychiatrists - Postnatal Depression 
• PANDAS Foundation
• Dad's Pad
• The Vroom App
• The Maternal Mental Health Alliance
• Reaching Out, a resource for dads
• Bipolar UK: Women and Bipolar 
• Association for Post Natal Illness: Postnatal Depression
• Maternal OCD
• Birth Trauma Association

Information leaflets perinatal mental health

• Royal College of Psychiatry: Planning a Pregnancy - Advice for Mothers with Mental Health Problems
• Action on Postpartum Psychosis: Planning Pregnancy a Guide for Women at High Risk of Postpartum Psychosis
• Bipolar UK: Bipolar Disorder, Pregnancy and Childbirth
• Royal College of Psychiatry: Postnatal Depression
• Royal College of Psychiatry: Postpartum Psychosis
• Royal College of Psychiatry: Bipolar Disorder
• Royal College of Psychiatry: Anxiety, panic & phobias
• Royal College of Psychiatry: Perinatal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Resources aimed at partners and carers

• Action on Post-Partum Psychosis: Resources for Partners
• Association for Postnatal Illness: Advice for Carers
• Birth Trauma Association: Fathers/Partners Page

Self-care resources for perinatal mental health

• Tommy’s Charity: Wellbeing in Pregnancy
• Two in Mind Project 
• Self Help Techniques from the SMILE Group